Myer Turned 7

As the years fly by, I have noticed that my posts are less frequent but I'm trying to write one update at least every year so one day Myer can reflect back on his childhood and the great memories we've made. Almost a month ago, Myer had his 7th birthday. We invited 7 of his closest friends (all boys now because girls are not as cool) and we had the event at a roller skating rink. Myer is now in 1st grade at Creekview. His amazing teacher is Ms. Smalls, and he is really excelling in Math and Reading. In fact, at our first conference of the year his teacher informed us that Myer was testing in the 96th percentile for Math, so that's encouraging for his career as a Lego builder as he indicated. He is going on his 5th year as a train expert but his hobbies have spread to bike riding and golf. His bike riding is incredible and he really enjoys going off road to test the bumpy terrain. Golf is fairly new for him but he's taken to the sport really well. We joined the Golf Club of Georgia in our neighborhood so we take him out on the course to swing the clubs every chance we get. I tell him that he's a mini Jordan Speith especially when he is decked out in his Under Armor apparel. Maybe someday we will get Masters tickets again so Myer can understand the commitment and talent that goes with this very difficult sport. At least we've got him started young! As for trips and vacations, we just got back from Clearwater Florida for spring break. We will head to Turks and Caicos in June for our 15year wedding anniversary. Of course when you only have one child, you bring him along. My plans for Myer are to make him as worldly of a child as possible because I think it helps him understand cultures and geography better. Maybe 2019 will be the year to take him to Europe so he can try out all the trains he loves so much. Until then, we will keep exploring this side of the ocean and all it has to offer. Pictures to come soon.

Pictures from Kindergarten

Kindergarten Here We Come

I have mixed emotions about this post because my baby will be starting kindergarten on Aug. 8. I can't believe this time is here and while I thought I would be ready and excited, a piece of me is sad knowing that Myer will be on his own in a big school and from here on out, he will only gain more independence from us. See when you only have one child and have come to realize that one is all you will be given, all the milestones become that much more paramount because you know you will never experience them again. I am truly excited to see what Creekview Elementary will bring to Myer's life through great friendships and comprehensive learnings because I know he will soak up every minute of it. We have our orientation a week from tomorrow so more to come about his teacher and class, but all we know so far is that the bus comes at 7:05am and drops him off at 2:49pm. He has picked out a Star Wars backpack, lunch box, and water bottle, so you can tell he gets his cues from Chad. As for Myer and his reservations about starting school, he hasn't spoken about them too much, but the funniest one is his worry about how loud the bell will be to start class. I reassured him that it will become his favorite sound every afternoon when school is out. It really is interesting to get inside the head of a 5 year old to see the world as they do. All in all we can't wait to see what this school year as to offer because I know we have a flood of memories to make! Pictures will be posted after Aug. 8!

Our Fertility Journey Comes to an End

I almost didn't even have the strength to write this post after all the ups and downs over the last couple of months, but I figured I needed to end the chapter and turn the page. As it turns out, the last blood work that was at 85 was as high as it went. Once again, I ended up with a failed pregnancy at only 4 weeks. Then we started our final cycle in August and after two months of prep and dozens of shots, I had yet another devastating outcome that resulted in a biochemical pregnancy with a beta of only 36.6. The number dropped 48 hours later and that is why my decade of hopes and dreams of having a large family has finally come to an end. We have exhausted all our frozen embryos and the process to obtain more is costly and physically draining. Therefore, we say good-bye to RBA and the assistance that they provided to help us overcome the decade long battle we faced. Fortunately for us, all 7 cycles were not lost and on lucky #4, we got Myer. Looking back, I have come to realize how special he really is and it continues to amaze me that he made it here when so many others failed so quickly. As it turns out I was with my nephrologist when I got the news of the last and final pregnancy outcome, and he reassured me that I had done all I could and even more than others in my situation would have. He reminded me of the risks that I took to get Myer here and how honorable that was to potentially sacrifice my health for his. I guess that is just what a mother does, and that is why I was willing to do it again so Myer could grow up with a sibling. My doctor also made me realize just how blessed I am that Myer is a healthy, happy, and smart 4 1/2 year old because of all issues that can go along with kidney disease, preeclampsia, and pre-term labor. When you want something bad enough, you put blinders onto the world and shut all the negative out. I put my faith in God and He definitely answered with Myer, but what I didn't realize is that He was probably answering with all the failed attempts also. He was keeping me safe from all the harm to either myself or the baby that my doctor was trying to articulate. I know more than ever that Myer is my gift from God and I will continue to be reminded of that when I am feeling empty of not having anymore children. It will still hurt to see pregnant women and newborn babies, but at least I have the most adorable, loving, and sweet boy that calls me "mommy"!

Blood Test Results

So, I was convinced that I would be getting bad news yesterday and as it turned out, I am pregnant. My beta levels were a little lower than what I'd feel comfortable with, so I'll remain cautiously optimistic, but at least we still have stake in the game. When I was pregnant with Myer, my first beta was in the 300s. Currently my beta is only 85, but I'll take that over 0 any day. I will go back on Friday to see if the number has doubled. I would really like to hear it has climbed to 200 though. That would make me feel a lot better about things. As for symptoms, I have not experienced anything other than maybe some waves of fatigue. This is very different from what I remember about Myer so I'm taking it one day at a time. However, there were a lot of different factors between the two cycles. First, Myer was a fresh day 5 blastocyst. We transfered two embyros with his cycle and I'm convinced that both took at first, but one quickly arrested. As for this cycle, I transfered two frozen day 3 embryos so the circumstances are all around different. From what I've read online (because I do that a lot these days), there really shouldn't be any difference in the way or time it takes the embryo to implant, but I've just got to think that one that is two days behind may be a little sluggish. At least that is what I'm hoping for. I guess I won't know til Friday's results though. Until then, I'm pregnant and will cherish the thought. Thank you to everyone for the positive vibes, warm wishes, and strong prayers. I really did need them this time!

The 2 Week Wait

As anyone knows that has gone through IVF, the two week wait is by far the worst part of the whole process. It seems like the daily shots, raging hormones, or financial pressures would surpass the angst of a waiting period, but these 14 days will mentally break you down. Every little twinge in your stomach or sleepy yawn could be the symptom you are ready to claim as a viable pregnancy symptom. However, most pregnant women at this stage wouldn't even know that they are pregnant so trying to link something like a keener sense of smell to pregnancy hormones is basically impossible at this point. What I've learned is that you just really do have to sit and wait for the doctor to read the blood test results to you on Day 14 because no matter how much you try to justify that it did or did not work, you will only be speculating and that is not worth your sanity. So, with that said, I sit and wait for another 8 days...but who's counting? The transfer procedure went about as perfect as it could go. Our 3 embryos all made it out of their frozen state successfully. We had 1 8 cell; 1 7 cell; and 1 6 cell. We chose to transfer the 8 and 7 cell because they were further along. However, the 6 cell embryo looked good too, but our initial plan was to transfer 2 and let the 3rd continue to grow and divide. Well that 3rd embryo kept growing and eventually made it to a stage that the doctors felt comfortable enough refreezing it. Therefore, we have one embryo in the bank left in case we need it sometime in the future. If nothing else comes from the refrozen embryo, at least it gave me encouragement for the two that we had transfered because that "poorer" quality 6 cell embryo proved that it was strong too. So, like said above, there is not much to mention during these next 8 days. It really is just a waiting game. I am still taking my progesterone shots in the muscle. Thanks to Lindsay for being my personal doctor with this. I am also on Lovenox and baby aspirin. None of this really bothers me though because I know it will all be worth it in the end. Now, I just need to make it there!

IVF Retrieval Completion

I'm a couple days late on this post, but I wanted to add it in so that I can reference the stats later. I had my retrieval done on March 3. Dr. Toledo successfully got 5 eggs out of the 9-10 follicles that I had growing. 5 of the eggs were mature enough to even make it to fertilization and 3 actually fertilized. The embryologist used ICSI to ensure the eggs would fertilize. This procedure is where the doctor will manually insert the sperm into the egg rather than letting the sperm inititate the fertilization process. This was done because of the small quantity of mature eggs that I had and we didn't want to run the risk of them not fertilizing on their own. With that said, we have three 2-cell embryos on ice chilling until my body is primed and ready to take them back. The stage of the embryos this time is very different than when we got pregnant with Myer. This time the embryos were frozen on day 2 which means they only have 2 cells so far. During Myer's cycle we had two blastocyst embryos which meant they were put back in on day 5. They had 10+ cells. This is the best stage because the embryos are really starting to divide at this point and we could identify the ones that looked the best for transfer. At day 2, we really don't know the grading of the embryos and therefore, can't tell which ones look better. Dr. Toledo, Chad, and I have decided that in order to select the best 2 out of 3 (rather than putting all 3 back at once)we will thaw the embryos and see what they do by day 3. From there, we will be able to assess the quality and chose the best 2. I thought about putting all 3 back in, but I know my body can't handle the overload. I was afraid that instead of accepting just one, it would reject all 3. We will keep the 3rd growing to day 5 (if it makes it there) and refreeze it in case we need to use it in another cycle. Hopefully, we won't! :) In the meantime, I've been waiting to start the rest of the protocol because my body has to get synced back up with the meds. If you will remember, I started this process back in January and from what I've been told, we won't know the outcome until mid May. This has been the longest IVF cycle we've endured thus far. Currently, I am waiting on April 7 because that is when I start back on my Lupron shots. I will take those for two weeks and then should start my cycle. After that, I will be on some estrogen and progesterone meds to "trick" my body into thinking that I just ovulated and that I am ready for implantation. The transfer won't take place til day 18 after the start of the cycle. So as of right now, we are anticipating a May 8 date. We've still got a long way to go, but I wouldn't rather be doing anything else! I guess the silver lining is that I have at least another month of eating chocolate, turkey sandwiches and sushi! After that, it is strict diet regulations and lots of healthy food! Bring on the salads...