Today, people tell me not to dwell on the trials and tribulations of the past and just enjoy my precious gift, but I think this post is too important not to share.
As most of you already know, Chad and I were victims of the infertility epidemic that plagues so many couples. We battled the monster for 5 long years but we're fortunate enough to have slayed it in the end. However, that slaying didn't come easy and we definitely endured battle scars along the way, but I can honestly say though that our faith for God and love for one another was never contested. Those two vital components were what helped us become victorious in the end. Of course, we had our fair share of medical treatments also but nothing would have been possible without our constant prayer.
Chad and I started our quest back in 2005. I won't go into all the private details, but I do want to recount the endless efforts of clomid treatments, 3 IUIs, and 4 IVF cycles. We tried everything short of donor eggs. You see, all the tests were leaning more towards my egg quality not being sufficient enough. Everything on Chad's side checked out okay, so I was starting to feel like the weakest link in this equation, but I was not a fan of having someone else's eggs. It just wasn't what I had dreamed and prayed for all those years. I wanted to be able to gaze at my baby and wonder if he had mine or Chad's eyes, nose, fingers, etc. With eggs from a donor, I wouldn't have been able to do that and would have always wondered what our child's features and personality would have turned out to be.
Therefore, we continued to try different methods and protocols from the doctors. We started with the less invasive treatment of Clomid. It is a hormone medicine to help with ovulation. As we later found out though, ovulation wasn't my problem and that is why the Clomid failed to work.
From there, we were recommended to see the infertility team at Atlanta Center for Reproductive Medicine (ACRM). We tired 3 IUIs, also as known as artificial insemination, but again, no luck. Our once optimisic outlook on having a baby was starting to be challenged because no one could really tell us what was going wrong. I had done plently of tests but nothing suggested we should be having this difficult of a time. I mean, I was young (27) and my AMH (egg quality level) was only slightly elevated. I had taken a somewhat questionable chemo medicine 6 years prior for my kidney disease, but all the specialists reassured me that this should not be impacting my fertility. So, we continued to try but still to no avail.
While at ACRM, I became close with the receptionist since I was going there sometimes twice a week. Her name was Nancy and she was going through something much more devastating. She had breast cancer years ago and unfortunately it had come back with a vengeance this time. The bottom line was she was dying. I still remember her telling me to "keep smiling" as she left the office in her brittle state for the last time.
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| Nancy Dibble |
She was my inspiration through this. I kept telling myself that if Nancy could smile through death, I could smile though a couple procedures. I still think about her today and how she is probably smiling down on me, saying, "I told you!"
Shortly after Nancy's death, Chad and I decided to mix things up a bit. We had already done 3 IUIs, and 3 IVF procedures with ACRM. We only had one success off an IVF cycle that unfortunately ended in miscarriage at 6 weeks. We were devastated, so I decided that we needed to start from scratch with a different clinic and protocol. That is how we ended up at Reproductive Biology Associates (RBA).
I love the motto: "Go Big, or Go Home" so I decided that our next doctor would be the best in Atlanta. His name is Hilton Kort and the first time we met him, we knew there was something special about this man. First, it just so happened that my mother-in-law had seen him 30 years ago during her own struggle. Next, he was an avid runner and Chad quickly bonded with him over triathalon stories. And lastly, I was impressed with his vignette online about helping women that haven't found success at other fertility clinics. He was the missing piece to our puzzle, so we jumped right into our 4th IVF cycle. Dr. Kort changed everything we had done before at ACRM. He had us both on antibiotics in the beginning. Then all the stimulation shots were changed for me. Before, I was taking Bravelle and Menopur but this time I was on Follistim, Menopur, and Ganarilex. I was also ordered to take Lovenox (a blood thinner) to help with possible clotting issues that may have caused my last miscarriage. Little did I know that this would be a shot everyday for the next 10 months, but I was ready for anything. Dr. Kort also mentioned the possibility of testing our embryos for hereditary problems. This would be risky though because the procedure was fairly new and there was a possibility that our embryos wouldn't make it through the testing. In the end though, we decided not to do the test because I only had 5 good embryos. The cut-off for the test was 6. Plus, we had two outstanding, picture perfect embabies. The world-renown embryologist, Dr. Nagy, advised us to go ahead with the transfer instead of gambling with the genetic testing. I thought that was noble of him since he would have been able to use our embryos to gain knowledge in his field. After that discussion with Dr. Nagy and Dr. Kort, I knew we were finally in the right hands. They were more concerned with our happiness than their own agendas.
We decided on Aug. 8, 2010, that we would transfer the two "picture perfect" blastocysts hoping that at least one would "stick". Well, we know the rest of the story because Myer was born 33 weeks and 6 days later on March 16, 2011.
I credit our miracle to Dr.Kort and Dr. Nagy's extensive knowledge, Nancy's positive outlook on life, my accupuncturist's talents, our family's prayers, and both mine and Chad's trust in the Lord. For example, when we were in the midst of our struggles, I prayed to God and asked that He show me a sign letting me know His direction for me in this journey. Well, the sign that I got was a bare white bumper sticker on a car in front of me at the stop light that I was praying. It simply said, "Expect a Miracle". From that point on, I did just what the message said and today, I have my miracle to show for it.
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| Bumper Sticker that read, "Expect a Miracle" |
I know this will sound like a commercial, but if you are someone you know is going through infertility, I am always here to help in any way I possibly can. I feel that maybe that was the reason I was chosen for this journey. I have kept journal entries, timelines, medicine side effect logs, and I even started writing a book to one day help someone the same way the women that went before me helped ease my uncertainities. If there is one thing I can say about this whole process, it is to "keep smiling and never give up"!
